Photo by Chermiti Mohamed on Unsplash
Unless people set a clear purpose behind their choices, actions and behaviors become unpredictable. While this is the easiest option, this may lead to more harm than gain.
Intentions fuel actions. These serve as the first force and push that molds people’s thoughts and decisions, setting the rhythm of their steps and energy and guiding them to pursue their goals. However, when it comes to relationships, the one situation requiring the most intentional actions, people often overlook its importance.
Love is an emotion.
Being in love is one of people’s most emotive instead of analytic experiences. It’s straightforward and intuitive, commonly governed by following one’s heart and not one’s mind.
People act in terms of what their heart whispers without entirely and intellectually considering the possible consequences of their actions. This means people in love are likely to be emotionally driven. They’re expected to act based on what their heart yearns for and rarely what their mind deems smart.
They express what their heart wants without setting a clear purpose for their actions. But what happens when people in love express affection without setting clear intentions?
It’s not an unusual scene to see people “get played” or feel injustice in the connection they have – like they aren’t getting what they deserve to have. It’s the typical setup for the nastiest and most painful heartache. Someone comes into the other’s life and gives them all the attention and affection their heart could provide, only to leave with no proper explanation or closure.
The reason? It’s typically written in clichés like, “It’s not you. It’s me.”
Yet when these words are uttered, the receiver subconsciously believes it’s them. They think they’re lacking or, worst, unworthy of love and deserving of heartache. However, the truth is weaved underneath these words, and the other is the reason. It’s them all along and the misalignment of their actions and behaviors. They enter someone’s life with their fondness for that person and the love they wish to express. But their intentions are uncertain, and their minds are yet to decide what they truly want from the connection.
Author and psychologist Maureen E. Hosier writes a book about a new relationship perspective that captures the importance of intention. Her book highlights how crucial it is for people to learn about themselves and their motivations for love before entering a relationship.
This means they must first be sure of their objective. Before entering someone’s life and showing affection in any shape or way, they must first be clear of their end goal. Do they wish to pursue the other for a relationship, or is the situation only something of temporary value?
Setting one’s intention is a foolproof way to avoid heartbreak and establish a long-term healthy relationship. Couples or the ones to first confess and express a certain fondness must already comprehend what they want from the connection and their confession. They should already have a clarified why for the relationship to fuel the decisions they’ll make in the future.
The earlier they’ve set their intentions and the more precise these are, the better and smoother their relationship will be. Setting a purpose, whether it’s for the long term or not, allows people to focus their energy on attaining it. In relationships, this makes them work harder to maintain or achieve the goal they have in mind. For the other person involved, this serves as reassurance that the person’s feelings are genuine, proof they aren’t being strung along.
A connection will only be fruitful if both persons involved are aligned with their intentions.
They’re striving to achieve a similar goal and are working on fulfilling similar goals about it.
In establishing a clear intention, maintaining passion and affection throughout their relationship will become easier with both parties putting in a similar effort. It takes two to tango. But unless both are instructed to dance to a similar beat and have the same concept in mind, the performance won’t be polished and completed.
If a man wants to be a woman, he will do anything to make it happen.
While this highly patriarchal sentiment may rub people the wrong way, it does deliver some hard, cold truths. Once men, or people in general, intend to pursue another, they would do so boldly, bravely, and confidently. With strength in their steps and determination in their effort, they wouldn’t hesitate or second guess their behaviors and no mixed signals would be received by the other person. This advice can paint an imbalance in relationship dynamics by portraying one as more assertive while the other as a passive receiver. But it also highlights that with a set intention, evident determination to pursue will be present.
Intention in relationships is like paving a clear road to a specific goal. It allows couples to see and overcome obstacles to enjoy an environment that fosters growth and joy. Intentions set the tone for how couples should behave and what they can expect within the connection, a roadmap they’d share for the relationship to flourish and thrive.
Alex Writes 