After reading One Caregiver’s Journey, I was struck by the realization that one day I would have to provide care for my parents as well. These are my thoughts.
Taking care of people is extremely hard, but important. It is important that people do it. I sincerely believe that caregiving is one of the oldest professions in the world.
When you think about it, care is a fundamental cornerstone of society and human existence. Without care, there would be no cooperation, and without cooperation, there would be no sense of community. It is from the community that a broader society arises. So, it is no exaggeration to say that without care, there would be no civilization. At least no civilization as we know it or would want to be a part of. But, between you and me, dear reader, I would not want to live in a civilization that does not care for its people.
Now, where does this talk and thinking of care come from? Over the recent months, I have been visiting some relatives in the Florida countryside. They were an aunt and an uncle, a few cousins, and their families. My aunt and uncle were old–older than either of my parents, in fact. At that age, some families would have already considered or had already persuaded their parents to live in nursing homes or in assisted living communities. But my cousins didn’t.
In private, I asked them why that was. It was easy enough to find quality in-home senior care. They concede that it was. There were a lot of caregiver agencies nearby, and there were even a bunch of senior homes they could take their parents to, but they didn’t want to. “They cared for us when we were children,” they said. “And we want to take care of them when they are old.” I could only nod, perplexed at the thoughts churning in my mind.
I enjoyed my time with them and went back home. Throughout the journey, I was thinking, and while passing the time on my tablet, I came upon the book One Caregiver’s Journey by Eleanor Gaccetta (It helps that I was already googling about caretakers).
The book was all about the author having to rearrange her life as she takes care of her ailing mother 24/7. She does this until her mother dies at the old age of 102. I won’t talk too much about the book, you have to grab a copy of yourself to know what happens, but I do want to talk about what I felt.
Before reading the book, I hadn’t really thought of caregiving in any capacity. Before that visit to my relatives, I hadn’t really thought of caregiving at all.
My parents are persistent and tenacious. They’re hardy people. So, I never imagined them becoming bedridden or in need of constant care. But seeing my aunt and uncle, I began to think about what if. And after reading Gaccetta’s book, I began to believe it was going to be an inevitability.
Now, this is not to say that I dreaded the idea (although I must be honest and say there were some apprehensions about the fact), but what filled my mind most was the idea of care. If and when it happens that my parents were going to need immediate 24/7 care, I would be doing it, but the fact that we take for granted the act of caretaking is somewhat odd to me.
As I’ve mentioned before in this article, I believe—I know that care is foundational to present civilization, but the fact that such an important institution lumbers on in the background, largely unnoticed by the world, was an eye-opener.
Not everyone has what it takes to be a caregiver, and a lot are forced to become caregivers. To those people and to those who willingly commit to the act of caregiving, I cannot help but applaud and revere them in my heart.
Caregiving is akin to sharing your life with another–not anything like marriage or something like that–but something more altruistic, more spiritual (if I had to peg a word to it). There is something powerful about it that I still can’t place.
With the recent events all over the globe happening, I do hope that everyone wakes up to caring and that we all engrave it on our hearts how important it is that we continue to care.
Perhaps, I’ve rambled enough. More likely, my thoughts are still stewing. When they’re ready, I’d like to revisit this topic once more.
For now, I encourage you to call up your parents or any old relatives or friends and grab a copy of One Caregiver’s Journey. It’s well worth the time to read.
Alex Writes 